


Out of Gas

by jules1278, orphan_account



Category: Glee
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-15
Updated: 2012-02-15
Packaged: 2017-10-31 06:33:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/341009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jules1278/pseuds/jules1278, https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The whole gang goes to the movies. Just our tongue-in-cheek way of coping after watching 3x13 "Heart" and losing our cool over Sam and Mercedes.  So, spoilers for that, I guess. Hez wanted a story where Puck farts, and this is what we came up with.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Out of Gas

**Author's Note:**

> The title is a nod to one of our favorite old shows: Firefly.

Everyone was laughing and bumping into each other as they jostled their way to find eleventy seats together in Lima’s Cinema 8, making sure to find a row with a spot for Artie’s wheelchair.

Rory dropped some of his popcorn on an unsuspecting movie goer in the row ahead of them, and, mumbling ‘sorry’ as he sat down, managed not to spill the large Pepsi he and Sugar were sharing.

“Hey, who got my Junior Mints?” Puck stage whispered.

“Here, you big cry baby,” and Santana tossed the green and brown box down the row, accidentally on-purpose hitting Puck hard in the chest.

Finn climbed over Brittany and Santana’s legs to sit next to Rachel, leaving Mercedes at the end and Sam standing in the aisle, looking at the two seats empty beside her.

“Over here, Sam!” Blaine and Kurt were in the row behind, and Sam thankfully slid in next to them.

To their left, Tina took Mike’s snazzy hat off his head, and leaned over to whisper, “What movie did Rachel get us tickets for, anyway?”

Sam looked at his stub, torn in half.

“ _The Artist_?”

“Oooh, we’ve been wanting to see that one!” Kurt grabbed Blaine’s hand excitedly.

Blaine nodded, “It received an Oscar nod already.”

“Be quiet, it’s starting!” Rachel admonished from the row in front of them.

Kurt threw a popcorn kernel at her, hitting the back of Finn’s head by mistake.

“Dude, watch it,” and he punched Puck in the shoulder.

“It wasn’t me, dude.”

“ _Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh_!”

As the opening credits rolled, Brittany passed their box of Raisinettes to Santana, and Quinn and Joe ducked into the seats next to Mercedes.

“Thanks for saving us seats,” Joe whispered as he set Quinn’s jacket over the arm between them. “We were finishing up at the shelter.”

“Sure, just don’t let the Munchkin Movie Nazi hear you whispering,” Santana snarked.

Brittany hummed ‘The Lollipop Guild’ under her breath, and Puck joined in.

Rachel leaned around Finn to glare at them. “I can hear that!”

“Yeah, but can anyone hear this movie?”

The couple in front of them, who’d already had popcorn spilled on them by Rory, got up to move to different seats. At the very front of the theater.

“See? You’re all being unbelievably rude. And you’re not _supposed_ to be hearing talking in the movie. It’s almost entirely silent.” And Rachel twirled back around, hair flying.

“Do you dudes smell anything?” Puck asked, fanning his hand over his nose.

Artie sniffed the air. “Yeah, who died in here?”

“Hey, he who smelt it, dealt it.” Finn fanned his ticket stub around Puck’s seat.

Tina groaned, “Puuuck, that’s GROSS.”

“It wasn’t me!”

Kurt wrinkled his nose, “Ewww, Finn, don’t send it back here. Keep the stench up there with Puckerman.”

Sugar set her purse down in her chair and stood up.

“Well, I’m going to talk to the manager, because I paid to see a movie with words!”

“Yeah, and nobody paid to sit next to Puck cutting the cheese.” Finn leaned back to high five Sam.

“Why’s it always gotta be me, guys? What did I ever do?”

“That’s what we’d like to know.”

Brittany leaned over, grabbed Quinn’s jacket, and threw it over Puck’s head. 

“That is so not unicorn of him.”

“Watch out, or he’ll dutch oven it.” Artie looked around for a return high-five, but Tina just shook her head at him.

“Boys,” Quinn said, standing up, tall in her wedges, and gingerly took back her jacket.

“What did you EAT before you got here?” Mike asked, nasally, holding his nose.

Rachel hissed at them, “Will you guys please be quiet so I can hear the movie?”

“Hear what, exactly?” Santana snorted into Brittany’s shoulder.

“Yeah, what’s this movie called, ‘Silent but Deadly’?”

Rory spit his Pepsi all over the seat in front of him. Luckily, the people who’d been sitting there had already moved.

And double-lucky, Sugar didn’t see it.

Marching back down the aisle, the Sugar in question huffed, “Apparently, this movie isn’t supposed to talk!”

“That’s what I’ve been TELLING you guys!”

Kurt leaned over to pat Rachel’s shoulder in solidarity.

“We couldn’t hear you over the smell of Puck’s flatulence.” Finn managed to gasp.

“It has its own zip code,” Sam muttered. Mercedes giggled and then covered it with a quick hand to her mouth. 

“Hey, Santana, you wanna be Mayor of Puck’s--”

“Don’t say it!” Rachel stomped her foot, and Blaine could see she was about to lose it.

“Hey, everybody, let’s just chill and watch the rest of the movie.”

They all settled back into their seats, Mike still holding his nose, and Quinn leaning over her jacket protectively, and tried to follow the action taking place on the screen.

Focusing on what the faces of the actors and actresses were trying to tell them, they fell into the world of black and white quietly. Rory leaned forward, Puck eased back, Rachel rested her head on Finn’s shoulder, and so on it went down the line as they watched the love story play out. 

Their thoughts filled with women in white dresses with splashes of red hibiscuses, men with shoulder-padded suits, small dogs, cigars, and John Goodman. 

Rory’s popcorn tilted to the side and spilled kernel by kernel as the credits rolled and no one moved from their seats. People filed out around them, walking over their legs and stepping on toes, but they still didn’t move. 

“Holy fuck,” Puck muttered. 

“Wow, Berry. Who knew you could pick a movie?” asked Santana. 

“I liked the puppy,” Brittany added. 

“Breadsticks?” Finn asked the group. 

“Gotta git to the sorority house,” Puck said, pocketing his phone. “Them crazy ladies are having ‘tea’.”

“Formal or informal?” Kurt asked. Blaine tapped him on the knee and shook his head. 

“What?” Puck looked from Kurt to Blaine. 

“Nothing,” Blaine replied. 

“Just don’t rip one in the sorority house,” Finn said, and ducked to avoid Puck’s arm.

“Goodness knows I love spending time packed together with all of you like a glorified Duggar reunion but I need some alone time with my girl,” Santana said, standing. “We’re outta here.”

Quinn stood, grabbing her coveted outergarment. “We’ve got to get back to the soup kitchen. They’re having midnight mass and Joe and I are supposed to hand out pamphlets Ms. Pillsbury made up for us.”

“What in the hell would they say? ‘Homelessness: It’s not just for poor folk no more, yo’?

“Santana, that’s not funny,” Mercedes said. 

“Touchy, touchy. Trouty doesn’t mind. Do you, Trouty?”

Sam rolled his eyes, but shook his head. “So, who’s still going to Breadsticks?”

“We’re leaving,” Quinn said, again. Joe and Quinn left with Santana and Brittany following. 

Sugar stood with a flounce and a pout. “I can’t go either. Daddy says I have to be home by ten so I can get my beauty rest. We’re flying to Chicago tomorrow.”

“Ohhhkay, then,” Kurt said under his breath. Mercedes snorted indelicately and Sam laughed. 

“I’ll give you a ride, too, Artie if you want,” Sugar said. 

“That’s what she said,” Puck quipped. 

“Puckerman, it literally is what she said this time.” Finn shook his head as Blaine clapped him on the shoulders. 

“You, too, Rory.”

...and then they were down to six. 

They filed out two by two until Mercedes and Sam reached the aisle at the same time. 

Sam thought of a line from another black and white movie that his mom had watched over and over when he was a kid. 

_”Of all the gin joints in the world, she had to walk into mine.”_

He then held the exit door open for Mercedes and when she ducked her head and smiled at him, he thought all these last months of hell might just be worth it to see her grin like that. 

He breathed in the cool night air and walked on beside her.


End file.
